We are now in Week 6 of the Summer Sizzle Blog Hop series. Where 9 Bloggers are sharing their best work with each other for 9 weeks. Last week I introduced Shannon Guerin with her post, What to do when life seems too busy for God.
This week I am introducing Deb Wolf. I had the tremendous honor of meeting Deb earlier this year in person. I was in complete awe of the opportunity because I have been a follower of hers for many different reasons. Deb is exactly who she is on her blog. She is supportive, GRACEFUL, full of wisdom, and probably one of the tightest hugger I ever met and I loved it. She is never without her smile and it truly represents the presence of God in her life. I hope you receive her words with much delight as you read from someone that has much experience and wisdom as a mother.
By: Deb Wolf
You want your children to be confident and successful. You want them to go into the world and fulfill their God-given purpose with passion and enthusiasm.
Help them fulfill their hopes and dreams because you want great things for them.
Where does humility fall on your list of things you want for them? And if it’s on the list, how in the world are you supposed to help them not become prideful while still encouraging them to be confident?
That’s the goal, isn’t it? A holy tension. The struggle you and I face every day in ourselves.
Humble confidence . . . knowing that every strength, talent, and ability is a gift to be used for God’s glory and every weakness is an opportunity to show God’s power to change.
So, how do you and I help our children in an area that we struggle with ourselves?
10 Ways to Teach Your Children Humble Confidence
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Pray – ask God to help you and your children live with both humility and confidence.
“Do not strive in your own strength; cast yourself at the feet of the Lord Jesus, and wait upon Him in the sure confidence that He is with you, and works in you. Strive in prayer; let faith fill your heart–so will you be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.” ~Andrew Murray
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Teach them to show respect to everyone with a zero-tolerance for rudeness.
Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Live as servants of God. Show respect for all people: Love the brothers and sisters of God’s family, respect God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:16–17
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Teach them to listen to learn and understand other people’s perspectives and feelings.
My mom always asked me two questions after I had a disagreement with a friend.
1. Why do you think they were upset, said what they did, or acted that way?
2. How might you have handled it better?
“Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them.” ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.
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Teach them to admit their mistakes and apologize; forgive them and teach them to forgive others.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you. When a believing person prays, great things happen. James 5:16
Any good apology has 3 parts: 1) I’m sorry. 2) It’s my fault. 3) What can I do to make it right?” ~Unknown
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Teach them to serve others by serving with them.
Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God’s various gifts of grace. 1 Peter 4:10
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Teach them to be kind, have a zero-tolerance for cruelty and bullying.
When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should. Colossians 4:6
“Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person.” ~Unknown
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Teach them to always do their best . . . whether they win or lose do everything to glorify God.
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
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Teach them to try, allow them to fail and encourage them to try again . . . life itself is often the best teacher of humility.
“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.” ~Norman Vincent Peale
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Teach them about strengths and weaknesses . . . talk about yours (they see them anyway) and help them identify theirs.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
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Model for them the things you are trying to teach them.
Show them humility. Show them confidence. How to respect everyone no matter who they are or what they do. Show them the importance of kindness and listening to others. Show them the blessing of service. The importance of trying when it would be easier to quit. Show them your faith and love for the One who made them for His plans and purposes.
Finally, remember…
You are not doing this humble confidence thing perfectly and your children are not going to get it right all the time either. It is something they, like you, will have to work at for the rest of their lives.
But…
You can teach them. And the best part, you can’t teach them without learning and growing yourself. God will use this in your life.
Don’t give up. Teaching your children about humble confidence is an important way to love them well.
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” ~Steve Maraboli
Deb is a passionate blessing counter who loves to study the ways faith and life intersect. This year at Counting My Blessings, she is sharing The Relationship Project – How One Relationship Affects All Others.
Deb lives in Missouri with her husband and furry child, Sadie now that all of their human children are grown and have little ones of their own. And yes, being a grandparent is the best!
She’s hoping you will join her on Pinterest, Facebook and Twi
Anne | Like the morning sun says
Very good points! And #10 is so important. I have learned to be quick to apologize, to acknowledge in front of my kids when I did something wrong, made a mistake, misjudged a situation. It keeps me humble, and it shows them how to humble themselves – while knowing they will still be loved and cherished and valued, just as they still love and cherish and value me as their mom. Through humility towards one another, the love between us only grows deeper and stronger. And the point to “teach them to serve others by serving with them” is also very true. Good reminder!
Deb Wolf says
Carmen, You just bless my socks off! Your intro humbles me. You are awesome and I hope I get to give you another tight hug soon!! <3
LeNae says
Fabulous article! I have an 18-month-old, and besides her, these are great tips to use with the kids I serve on Sundays at church. The questions for disagreements and the parts of an apology were beneficial and practical. Thank you!
Lauren Gaskill says
Number three is soooo important! I don’t have kids yet, but this is something I wish my parents would have spent more time teaching me about. Great advice, ladies! <3
Timberley @Living Our Priorities says
This statement right here: Humble confidence . . . knowing that every strength, talent, and ability is a gift to be used for God’s glory and every weakness is an opportunity to show God’s power to change…. resonated with my Spirit. Such a reality of God’s truth’s that He is shown greatest in our weakness. I love the tangible application of God’s Word to help teach our children about being humbled in this blog post by Deb. Thank you for sharing it blessed me today. ~ Stopping by from By His Grace Bloggers
Sarah says
Where does humility fall on your list of things you want for them? And if it’s on the list, how in the world are you supposed to help them not become prideful while still encouraging them to be confident?
– such a great and often unaddressed problem! Great Biblical support as well! I shared this on my Christ-centered Mama Facebook page, it’s so fitting.
Dani | Free Indeed says
What a wonderful post! Humility is usually not on the top of our list for our children, but it should be. These lessons are so crucial as we seek to disciple our children. Thank you for sharing this post from Deb!
Sue Donaldson says
Deb – a wonderful list of all God intends – not just for our children, as you mentioined -but all God’s children. Our kids pick up who we are more than what we teach – good and bad. And this post is all the more needed w/ the world’s misguided emphais on being all we can be and reaching our full potential … blessings and I would like a hug, too, btw.