Balancing Marriage and Blogging.

Ahhh…. Blogging, a passion that has quickly grown inside of me.

 

I get to write with my heart; which has been a dream for me since I could remember.

(Fun fact: I use dream about becoming a photojournalist.)

 

I am creating a space that I can call my own to express myself and to gain perspective on many levels.

 

Writing is becoming more and more therapeutic to me and a greater blessing each day as I get to more readers.

 

How can I not be passionate about this Blog?!

 

And to make it even more remarkable, I have gained amazing blogging friends (Much love to my blogging bestie Natalie @ Milk and Honey Faith ) that understands the up and downs of it all. I get to partake in a community of Christian Bloggers that has the same passion as I do.

 

Blogging is exciting, fun, creative, and all in all Good! But blogging is also a lot of work and much more than I expected. It can consist of long hours, the pains of writer’s block, and give you give emotional and spiritual heartbreaks. As you bow down before God to lead your writings, the endurance of it can be tiring,  and it can also creep up as overwhelming if you do not schedule and prioritize correctly.

 

 

 

I love it all but there is other things that I love too…..

Husband, Marriage, Kids, Church, Ministry, Home…

With blogging there NEEDS be a balance.

As I spent months debating weather or not to blog, my husband became my biggest supporter as he would encourage me to start. I would sit on the couch wondering if I could ever gain the courage to blog.

 

I read numerous posts about how to start a blog for hours and then  just grumble about how I would like to blog but I am not tech savvy enough. My husband would gently nudge me and speak life into the soon to be adventure.

 

At the time, he had more faith and vision for the blog than I did

 

When I finally said yes to blogging, to myself and to the Lord (I knew the Lord was speaking to me in this area and out of obedience I had to respond with a yes!), my husband and I sat together to discussed the priorities and how I would make time for the blog.

 

Although I am a stay at home mom, I did not want to forget what I was called to do first; which was to be a full time wife and mother. I maintain the home, keep the children going, and care for the daily routines of the house. I take honor and pride in this. This was a choice I was able to make three years ago and so happy I did!

 

Particularly knowing my blog content was going to be of that; building a home for my family (spiritually and physically), my top priority was definitely making sure the home was well maintained. I mean, how could I blog about something that I was not doing myself?

 

Months later, the Lord showed me a vision of my priorities on a grid.

 

Wife > Mother > Ministry >Blog.

 

This is the order the Lord has personally called for me.

Not that my blog is not a top priority to me, because it definitely is, but the Lord showed me; how could I write to you about building a home and ministry if I am not doing it myself?

Many times when I am not listening to what God has requested of me, the noise and actions around me become chaos and havoc. I did not want the blog to turn in a disaster because of deliberate disobedience.

 

As the blog and the responsibilities grows, there has became a great growth within myself of learning how to balance and what balancing is.

 

Balance: Mental and emotional steadiness and stability. Habit of calm behavior. Using judgement. The power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other.

 

With examining the definition of balance. I had to learn where my strengths were and use them as a positive influence to others. I am also learning to develop a habit of a calm behavior and emotional steadiness.

 

To learn what your priorities are and where your strengths are, seek God. I promise you He will show you the map to success.

 

My map for Married by His Grace’s growth and positive influence has been through the leading of God.

Not all of our journeys are going to be the same.

 

Married by His Grace is about building a home spiritually for your husband and children, so my path has to be a representation of that first.

 

Your path may be of teaching others how to write or do DIY projects. The visions revealed to you may be of more studying time in your niche; besides reading my bible, I am not capable of doing that myself . Your niche may require more hands on training to be able to teach others; my niche requires me to do as I write in the home.

 

By allowing God to be the one to reveal your grid of priorities, you are saving yourself from so much discord. By seeking God, you will be more prepared and organized than you are capable of doing on your own.

 

As the definition included the strong word of SUPPORT, I can’t help but think of how am I also supporting my husband and children when I am blogging and they are in need of my attention.

 

I wish I had an altogether spiritual answer to this but the truth is, the Lord showed me the simplicity of it all.

 

It’s prioritizing and planning. It’s keeping to commitment of scheduling, by scheduling my days, weeks, and month out for blogging.

I schedule which days are best for me to write and to do my blogging responsibilities. This is determined by the responsibilities of the home.

 

Generally I write early in the mornings on Monday and Wednesday’s for about two hours while my two youngest are with family for play date time. Then later in the day during the kids nap time I get to finish up any blogging tasks for another two hours. That is a totally of fours hours a day twice a week.

 

On Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, I wake up early to work on the blog. I usually go to bed late those evenings so I can finish any tasks. Day time on these days is set solely for the home and the kids but to stay active and productive with the blog I have trained myself to wake up before the kids to work for an hour. Then later in the evening I stay up two hours later to finish any writing after they fall asleep. These days are actually pretty successful for me because throughout the day I am working on my strengths to be able to work on my positive influence later at night in my writings.

 

I do not work on the blog during the weekends. However, I do write here and there to stay motivated.  I will try to work if I have found myself in a complete solitude arena (which is rare). Sunday evenings are usually our quiet time in the home and I do get to dabble here and there on the blog but it’s definitely not set in stone in my planner for the blog.

 

I like to keep the weekends for the family. There’s too many exciting things going on with them and I can’t imagine missing any of it!

 

I set my schedule to show my commitment to my husband and to remind myself of what my priorities truly are. This keeps my husband encouraging me and continuing to be my biggest supporter because there is no conflict of time management between us. As wives, our poor time management skills can cause strife in the home once it starts affecting our spouse and children.

My first few months of blogging, I did not do this and it caused more heartache than contentment.

I started to see how everyone in the house was beginning to feel a bit neglected. This is was not part of the plan at all. It was the last thing I wanted to do. So I began a change immediately.

 

I sat down and created a daily schedule for the blog. I specifically created time slots for blogging during times that I knew what most available for myself and the family.

As my husband watched my dedication grow to develop a habit of good time management skills; he would boost my motivation by waking me up with coffee.  He also started putting the baby to bed for me at night so I could write earlier and get a good night’s rest to start the next morning.

 

This has became a partnership between me and my husband.

      

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By setting your priorities and goals, then discussing them with your spouse encourages you both to be a team in blogging. Your spouse may not get writers block pains or discouragement when you feel like no one understand all the work you put into the blog but your spouse can become part of the team by being your biggest supporter which will benefit you both. By involving your spouse, it reminds them, your marriage is a priority. By telling your spouse thank you for the coffee in the morning when you had a long night writing, you enrich the appreciation on both sides.

 

As I end the longest post I have written thus far, I hope you take away the three points:

 

1. Seek God for your priorities. He is the one that will make the perfect list of priorities that you need to be successful in all areas.

2. Write a schedule and list your goals and keep your commitment to them. When you write things down you are 40 percent more likely to accomplish them.

3. Communicate with your spouse and include them in creating your schedule and goals. This will ensure you are both on the same page. It will help avoid conflict about scheduling within the home and kids.

 

If you have any tips of how to balance marriage and blogging, please share. Let us know what works for you.

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