Why does the bible recommend that the relationship between a husband and wife resemble the relationship between Christ and the church?
To have a prosperous relationship with God you need to completely submit yourself to His will. You need to fully devote yourself to Him and only Him. Every decision you make should be done in prayer and consultation with the Lord, not by your own understanding. You must dwell in His word and walk the straight and narrow path that Jesus laid out for us. You must spend time with God, seeking Him, talking to Him and listening to Him. These are aspects of the role that the church plays in the relationship between ourselves and Christ.
When we play our part Jesus is always faithful in going above and beyond our expectations. He listens and answers our prayers; He helps us to overcome insurmountable odds; He intercedes on our behalf; He forgives time and time again; He loves us unconditionally; He never gives up on us; He is always there and He blesses us abundantly even though we don’t deserve it. These are aspects of the role that Jesus plays in the relationship between ourselves and Christ.
When we examine the aspects of these roles, it becomes easier to understand what is meant in verses like Ephesians5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.“
As men, we are to love our wives so much that our deeds resemble the aspects of the role that Jesus plays in His relationship with the church. Those are some huge shoes to fill! Jesus does not have a lackluster, haphazard love for His church. His birth, life, ministry, death, and resurrection was all for His church. Everything He did, He did for us, “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). That is a lot of Love!
Obviously, we cannot live up to a love as great as God’s, but God asserts that we make a serious effort. Scripture also says that men are to be providers, with which most Christian men are familiar, but this is not only referencing money. We provide by being comforting, caring, loving, forgiving, humble, helpful, thoughtful, observant servants of our wives. Our job isn’t over once we’ve completed an eight-hour shift. Maintaining a marriage, a family, a relationship with God and a household that puts God first, takes a lot of work. It is fine to kick your feet up physically after you get off work, but not mentally and spiritually. A man that follows the ways of the Lord is the most attractive thing women will ever lay their eyes on. It will cause them to want to fulfill their roles.
The role of the woman is equally as important, gratifying and glorifying as the man’s! Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit[f] to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.“
Wives are called to be submissive to their husbands. In this day and age, this concept is almost laughable because it is so misunderstood. Just because a wife is submissive does not mean her voice, perspectives, values, or ideas are less significant. This command does not give the husband power over the wife to be exercised in a tyrannous and extraneous way. Husbands are called to be considerate of their wives. 1 Peter 3:7 says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
Submissiveness should be practiced out of desire, not out of obligation. God doesn’t want you to just be submissive to an ordinary man. He wants you to submit to an extraordinary man. A man that makes you feel like his equal, a man that has a love for you that resembles Jesus’ love for the church and a man that respects and honors you as the queen that you are. When he exemplifies this, you are to make him feel like a king. These verses are about giving freely and generously and receiving. Keep in mind that the cycle begins with giving. In order for a man to receive a submissive wife and in order for the wife to receive the joy of submissiveness and a great man, both parties must give generously from the heart.
On your wedding day you say, “I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband or wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
Jesus, moments before He was handed over to the religious leaders, washed the feet of His disciples. He knew of the pain and suffering that awaited Him. Of all the things Jesus could have done before being arrested, He humbly washed feet. This shows that even while facing adversity His eloquent, selfless and indicative love was greater than His heartache, fear and disdain for the horrors that awaited Him.
Jesus died so that our “worse”, “poorer”, “sickness” and “death” would not “part” us from God. With a divorce rate of 40-50 percent in America, I believe it is safe to say that we fail to fulfill the details of our marriage vows. Which means too many people are not loving like Jesus.
Jesus is God and God is love, so when you love like Jesus you become more of a Godly individual. Love selflessly, patiently, unconditionally, expressively, give generously, correct one another in righteousness and to the best of your ability produce a love in your marriage that has a striking resemblance to the love that Christ has for the church.
Julian is a passionate follower of Christ whose desire is to spread the gospel and share his testimony. He blogs about his connection and experiences with Christ at Julian for Jesus . His writings are nothing but pure expression of love for his family and for the word of God. He is a husband to a beautiful wife that is his best friend and soon to be father. I am blessed to have met Julian and have him guest post for Married by His Grace. I am encouraged and inspired by his writings and gifts that he allowing God to use to reach out to others. You can also connect with Julian on Instagram .
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