Saying I do is one thing, but staying I do is another thing altogether. I was a doe-eyed girl head over heels in love staring into his eyes as we said our vows. For better or for worse for richer or for poor in sickness and in health. I didn’t comprehend at the time the gravity and weight of those few little words.

 

For better or worse.

For richer or poorer.

In sickness or in health.

 

I focused on the better, the richer, the health and gave little thought to the worse, the poorer, the sickness until I came face-to-face with those realities.

 

You see when times are good, and everything is right in the world, life is good. But when difficult days become painful years the better slips away, and things quickly go from better to worse, worse indeed is worse.

 

Tensions in marriage rise during difficult days, and can quickly escalate when you are dealing with painful circumstances beyond your control, the kind that requires a healthy dose of longsuffering. Financial strain, job loss, illness, grief, infidelity and a myriad of other things add a weightiness to marriage that makes it difficult to endure.

 

When our second son was born with severe clubfeet little, did we know that we would spend the next couple of years in and out of the hospital? Surgery after surgery and illness after illness coupled with years of not sleeping through the night all placed a heavy toll on our marriage.

 

The next several years were some of the hardest years of my life. I was weary and worn from trying to make it from one day to the next. To complicate matters I had the added pressure of homeschooling our firstborn son. My husband lost his job and decided to start his own company, and finances were tight as he began building his business. We went months without n income and depleted all of our savings. We lived next door to my inlaw’s who were both diagnosed with brain tumors at the same time, and my mom was in and out of the hospital emphysema and heart conditions.

 

I clung to the word of God to get me through those incredibly difficult years, and my husband escaped reality by viewing pornography. It was devastating when I found out and lost trust in my husband. I could not live with a man I didn’t trust and thought our marriage was beyond repair. Our fighting even escalated to the point that I found myself sitting across from a divorce lawyer at one point.

 

But God.

 

God had other plans for our marriage. I cried out to God pleading to restore our marriage. Friends and family also went to battle for us on their knees. God heard those prayers, and we began to see a glimmer of hope.

 

Prayer changes things!

 

Friend, your marriage is worth fighting for. I don’t know what you are going through today, but I know a God who holds all things together.

 

James 1:2-5 NIV says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

 

Trials in marriage will come. These difficulties help to mature us in our faith. When all hope in your marriage seems lost, cry out to God, and ask Him for wisdom, and He will generously give it to you.

 

Fight for your marriage. Battle it out on your knees and petition God to restore your marriage.

 

Our Christian walk is a daily battle where we must put on the full armor of God.

Whether you realize it or not, you live in the midst of a spiritual battle, and you must be prepared for war. 

The victorious Christian soldier has an arsenal of weapons at his or her disposal to use in the fight against the enemy. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the word of God. I write about this in The Struggle is Real: But So is God Bible Study. Here is an excerpt.

 

“The enemy is bent on our destruction, but Jesus had different plans for his children. He sacrificed himself to save us so that we can walk in the freedom and fullness that He came to provide. I don’t know about you, but I sure want to walk in the freedom and fullness of Christ.

Jesus sees every tear we cry and is near those with broken hearts. He came to free us from the yoke of bondage and to set captives free, all those who the enemy has tried to ensnare. Through Him, we get beauty from ashes as Jesus turns our tears into joy. With Jesus, nothing is ever wasted. He can transform every disappointment in our life and use it for good. Jesus is not only our rescuer,  and He is the lover of our souls.”

 

After twenty-six years together Peter and I have weathered the storms of life. We have suffered incredible grief, and loss together. We have lived through financial burdens, illness, the death of babies and parents, the absolute worse of life. But we have also experienced authentic mountain top experiences together, and everything in between. We have seen God do the impossible in our marriage and family.

 

It is from all of these life experiences and more that I speak, and write to encourage and help women to overcome the struggles of life by sharing my testimony, and the hope of Jesus Christ. One of the places I encourage women is through my blog Misty Phillip, but you will also find me at A Wife Like Me.

 

A Wife like me exists to create thriving marriages by providing life-changing biblical truths and tools to wives. In addition to the resources at A Wife Like Me, we have created a gathering space on Facebook called A Wife Like Me Gathering which is a beautiful community of wives, and we would love for you to join us there!

 

We have a fantastic team of contributors at A Wife Like Me team who have come together to provide a resource for wives to grow closer to Jesus, and their husbands through our first book, Dear Wife.

I would LOVE for you to join us as we release this beautiful offering into the world. Dear Wife contains 26 invitations, with ten minutes of practices, to grow in your connection with your husband. I wrote two of the invitations in the book and collaborated with the talented contributors who are accomplished authors, speakers, and Christian leaders. These wives’ love the Lord, and have walked through fire in their marriages and have lived to tell about it. Each invitation includes scripture from the life of Jesus, a message, and thought-provoking reflection questions.

 

Dear Wife is available for preorder now and releases 5/1. Dearwifebook.com 

Much Love, Misty