Gifts to give your husband when your marriage is struggling.

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When our marriage is struggling, it can feel like we are at a stand still and worse…. we can feel defeated. As if no matter what we do or give to our spouse, nothing will make it change or become better. 

 

Struggles in a marriage know no date. It doesn’t matter if Valentines, anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays are coming up. The struggles do not care or know your special traditions as a couple. All we know is that those dates inevitably bum us out even more when the marriage is struggling. 

 

It can feel like, “ why give to one another or plan anything special if we are barely giving to one another on a daily basis?” And you are right! It can seem daunting and intimidating. What may have once been something romantic to do now seems to be taken over by the silence in the home? Thoughts of “what if he doesn’t accept it or see my heart behind it?” taunts us. 

 

So, how do we get past this? Past the awkwardness of giving a gift when the struggle is getting real? 

 

We just have to do it. 

If you are truly desiring and seeking to save a marriage, it is our responsibility and accountability as a wife to give (gifts, time, affection, affirmation, unconditional love) to our spouse. 

 

I am firm believer that each day is a new day to give to our spouses and show how we truly feel so hopefully this list of gifts to give to your husband when struggling in marriage for Valentines, anniversary, or for a birthday present is also something you can do at any time in your marriage. 

 

Our investments into one another is always important but when struggling, it becomes high alert important. We must take that step of humility and try to give to our spouse. Marriage is not a selfish opportunity for our lives. Marriage is an act of unity and unity requires sacrifice. It requires you to become one with another person. No more ‘just you’ and what is he giving to you in the marriage. But it is an outlook on ourselves of how am I giving into the person I love?

 

( This post is for the wife that is desiring to save a marriage, to build up her marriage, and to build a deeper connection to the purpose of a godly marriage. I do not support abuse in any mannerism in marriage. If abuse is in a marriage, I urge you to seek godly counsel and safety with those you trust. Although, I do believe in redemption of all those who seek forgiveness and for a marriage to be saved if it can be; God needs to be the certain of wisdom in your marriage and being safe should always be a priority for any person(s) who is in harm’s way.)

10 Gifts that may melt his heart even when the marriage is struggling. #marriage #savingmarriage Share on X

The Love Dare Book

The Love Dare Book was birthed from the movie Fireproof (watch it if you haven’t, might even be a good movie night for you and your spouse). The book is a 40 day challenge to understand unconditional love in marriage. It takes you through a journey of intimacy with each other, with the Lord, and even with yourself. This book literally made me a stronger person. It made me practice confidence in my faith and in the marriage. I highly recommend doing this together but also give privacy to one another. Let what you share within your books be something that you get to look back on when you have grown. A copy for each of you is best.

A handwritten letter

I am not an eloquent speaker at all! I am one of those people that speak then when sitting down feels flushed and red all over. Mostly because I feel like I did not relay the message the best way I could have. By nature am a writer and always have been. Definitely not the best writer and will never claim to be. I am horrible with grammar and completing sentences but writing is my love language for myself. It’s where I feel confident of translating my emotions and thoughts. It’s where I take my time and place my heart on paper. This is something I find profound to do in marriage. May every word I write be recorded and saved for my husband to always have to go back to and know my handwritten words were of honesty and vulnerability. What a precious gift to give to one another. 

 

A night alone

If you have kids this is especially an important one. Plan a night alone in your home together. Find a sitter that can take your kids for an evening or even better, for the night, if you can. A night alone is not always about going out on the town. Sometimes it’s just about being with one another. Learning to be alone without grief or strife. Truth is, when we are bearing through a hard season in marriage, the hardest struggle is learning how to enjoy each other again. The only thing that will help this is preserving through the awkward times of being alone and make an effort to do it. Plan the night whether it may seem like the “right” gift or not. Be with the one you love and willing to fight for. 

 

A gift of his likes

Us girls, can sometimes make romantic gifts become something we desire from him but when we are struggling with our marriages, it is best to create a gift that shows you know who he is as a person, not as a husband or father but as the man you fell in love with. Make a gift basket of his favorite snacks and movies, buy his favorite clothing brand or shoes, give him the cologne he wears when he dresses up or wants to feel sexy for you! Whatever the gift may be, make it about his likes. 

 

Index card challenge

Buy a pack of index cards and write a compliment on each one then spread around the house before he wakes up so wherever he goes he will find a new thing you love about him. 

Related Posts:

67 Encouraging things to say to your husband

7 Things to add to your prayers when saving your marriage.

40 Date ideas every married couple should try.

Personalized gift

There are so many handmade gifts to find on Amazon or Etsy that are unique and can be personalized. Here are a few to keep in mind but also get creative. Think about something that reminds you of you two so whenever he looks at it, he will also be reminded of “US”.

                      

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Photo Credit from Esty Seller – LovetoArtCo

Wedding Band

The band is not to replace the one you have already given to your husband. That is the one that you chose for the day you said “I do”. Give a new wedding band that can become an extra. Maybe for when working out or being active, like the silicone ones here. 

My husband gave me a new wedding band when we were struggling in marriage. It was one of the most romantic things he did because of what he said when he gave it to me. “This band is not to replace your wedding ring, it is to add a promise I never made to you. May this new one always remind you I will keep it”. He told me the promise he wanted to make that day and he put the band on. It wasn’t an expensive band. It was simple but the gesture and memory will always be in my heart. 

 

Dinner with Friends

As I mentioned above sometimes when our marriage is struggling and we are unsure where each one is at in the marriage, it can be a bit hard and intimidating to be alone together. But being with others that we love and that encourages our marriage can be a great way to spark our joy. It can relieve the tension and even remind us of all the love ones we have around us. For two years, my husband and I made steak dinners at home on Valentines with three other couples. We were all struggling through something at the time but those Valentines nights preparing to serve others and to be around others that make us laugh and relax was the best thing we did for us during that season. It would lighten the mood by levels!

 

Give you by being you!

Be vulnerable, selfless, and committed to grow with your spouse. Let him know you are fully focused. You may not know where to go or what to buy for a night such as valentines, or may be feeling pressured to go out together for the sake of the marriage, but whatever you do, just be who you are his wife. Be his friend, his listener, the one to laugh at his jokes, the one he can depend on to never sway in your feelings, even when it’s more of the worse than better.

 

Get Sexy!

Girl, I had to mention this one. Get sexy for your man. Just as much as we want him to be attractive to us, he wants to see you be attractive. Sometimes in slumps of marriage, we get slumped on ourselves and may not put much effort into self care. I personally had to learn how to put effort back into ME and not focus on looking or feeling hurt. 

Show him you still have confidence to be his wife and let him know what you still got! Buy a new outfit. Does not need to be expensive. Just think refreshed. Put on a little makeup, wear lotion, perfume, do your hair, and just walk around him with confidence girl. You have him, enjoy him, and let him enjoy you. 

 

These are my ten suggestions. I hope this gives you some ideas and gets your creativity going. No matter the gift, remember the best part of this is that: you gave to him. You put your heart into it and that is marriage. 

 

Dear Lord, I pray for the wife that came to this post hoping to find that one special thing for her husband. I pray she gives because her heart desires to give not because there’s expectation. May she feel the power of giving and sacrificing into her marriage over the reaction she expects to see from her husband. Teach her Lord that her heart will always be greater than possession and vice versa for when he gives gifts to her. Lord, spark passion in this marriage and encourage the hearts of every wife that stopped here to read. In Jesus name, may every marriage be reconciled that you have put together, Amen!