I have wanted to be a graceful Mom ever since I first dreamt of having a child of my own. For so long I have had a picture come to mind when I think of graceful motherhood. A tall, slender woman, with a skirt that gently brushes the floor as she finishes washing her dishes. A gentle smile is on her lips and her eyes are always prone to laughter. She speaks in a kind manner, and her words are like Wisdom herself.
And I sigh because…that is so not me.
And I feel less than.
Not good enough.
Wanting.
But recently I have come to realize that I may have it wrong.
Perhaps graceful motherhood is crying with your child when they are hurting.
Perhaps it is taking off the “perfect Mom” mask and getting real.
Maybe we should be pursuing our children’s hearts rather than chasing that perfect look.
Because what if the real graceful Mom’s day is full of stains from messy hands and pineapple juice kisses?
What if her kitchen isn’t perfect but her kid’s are happy and secure?
What if being a graceful Mom means leaning into the hard and the messy and making it through with the grace of God?
Because what if the real graceful Mom’s day is full of stains from messy hands and pineapple juice kisses? - How to become a Graceful Mom - Share on XMaybe the graceful Mom doesn’t always say it right, but her heart shines through her words and her “children still rise up and call her blessed.” {Proverbs 31:28}
I recently watched “Love & Friendship”, a new release based on a novella by Jane Austen.
Lady Susan fits the picture of a graceful woman perfectly.
Tall and slender with pretty little ringlets always framing her face. Her perfectly tailored dresses skim the floor and her voice is soft and low. The perfect words are always on her lips and she believes herself to be faultless.
But she is bewitching and selfish, to the point of trying to win the heart of the man her daughter loves.
The kind of woman that repulses every good-hearted, true souled girl. And yet…there is something about her that we want. The poise, the dress, the impression. The perfectness and “effortless” beauty.
Mommies, let us flee far from that kind of graceful woman and embrace the grace that is messy.
We need to ask God to fill us with the grace that runs towards the mess and engages it with love. The kind of grace that pursues our kids into the hard places that we want to stay away from.
We need a grace that is founded on truth and marked with strength.
Let me tell you, grace is not weak. Grace is powerful enough to pull us “out of the miry clay and set our feet upon the Rock”! {Psalm 40:2}
It is exactly what we need to liberally apply to every bit of our parenting. May our speech be “always full of grace, seasoned with salt.” {Colossians 4:6}
The graceful Mom may find herself crying in the kitchen many times, because parenting is hard. And I don’t mean hard because you can’t hang out with your girlfriends anymore.
No, parenting is hard because it hurts. Because it requires work and energy. Because real, graceful Moms do not give into their kids for the sake of peace, but choose the right way, taking the time to train hearts as they go.
If your parenting is leaving you exhausted and makes you cry sometimes, then you are doing it right.
Because that is real grace. Real grace hurts. And it takes everything out of us until we have nothing to stand on but grace itself.
So whether you feel like you’re a hot mess Mom, or a sloppy Mom or a not-good-enough Mom, stop right now and know that you can be a graceful Mom. It is not unattainable! The grace is right there, waiting for you to grab it with both hands and hold on tight.
Battle on, graceful Mom. You are on the right track. And I’m right here, cheering you on with my whole heart!
Stefani is a wife, Mommy, adoption advocate and country girl. She loves to write and encourage women to follow God with their whole hearts. She is a firm believer in morning coffee, friendship and finding joy in the journey. When she is not spending time with family and friends, creating something or playing with her camera, you can find her writing over at Walls of Home or at the Battlefield Moms group. You can also follow her on Facebook and Instagram!
Bianca says
Well said and beautifully written. This is a welcome validation for moms who feel they don’t quite make the cut. By embracing the graceful mess, we will have the most fun and the biggest smiles.
laurel says
So true, taking off the “perfect Mom” mask and getting real is one of the most difficult part of motherhood
Brooke says
Wonderful post! I am going to share this with my mom this Mother’s Day. I came across a wonderful essay on motherhood here: Mother Essay that you should take a look at. Let me know what you think.
[email protected] says
Yay, so glad you liked you and willing to share!