When others judge your parenting. 

Before I start this post, I want to say…. To my love ones that I may have had “how to parent” conversations with that I am about to mention, if you are reading this, I love you but this is an important topic for us to speak about  and I think it is time for me to write a little bit on it. After all, most of my writing reminds me and encourages me of what God is teaching me. 

 

As the one with the oldest kids and the only kids that are over ten years old right now amongst us siblings and many people I know; (any mom that has experienced preteen or older know, kids passing preteen age is a whole different ball game), I get A LOT of critiquing of how I parent my kids.  

How my kids have bad attitudes (hormones….lol), or how their new trends are weird and we should talk to them about their emotions more (which often makes me think, I bet my parents didn’t like my trends either…lol), or even just how they are getting old and I should do more with them.

 

Because I love my family that is giving me the ever so gently advice and help, I will sometimes just nod and tell them: “I haven’t thought of that”, or “Well every kid is different”. But most of the time, I can’t say anything because I become upset that we are having the conversation again. The other half of me is embarrassed and wondering what am I doing wrong as a mom.

Sometimes it takes me a day or two to get the words out of my mind from the person, which is usually when I

throw my hands in the air and say, “Wait a minute they still have to experience this. They are saying what they would do but truth is no one knows what they will do till they are there”.

 

Every single one of your children will be different. Not one of them is going to need you to be the same mom. The only thing that will be the same between each child is that you love them unconditionally.

 

I think that’s why we are so emotionally drain through the teenage years.

 

We are fighting battle after battle within ourselves of what to do next, how do we do it with this child or that child, or crushing ourselves with the “what if’s”.

 

When they truth is, they are merging into an adult and trying to figure it all out themselves.

 

Then to add on others questioning us…… Oh my goodness…. Such an emotional roller coaster; right?!

We are fighting battle after battle within ourselves of what to do next, how do we do it with this child or that child, or crushing ourselves with the “what if’s”. #christianparenting #bewellequipped Share on X

On top of that, I am a fighting Mom. Like, get girded, tie my hair up, put my fist in the air, on my knees, ready to fight the devil and punch him the face type of mom.

 

Have you ever had those type of nights in prayer?

Where it’s time to fight it out with the enemy? Shaking your head practically yelling, “You will NOT have my child or my future generations. They are God’s!”

If you have then you know what I mean that emotional exhaustion does come.

 

Funny, how not everyone sees that part of us in parenting.

 

The nights we know our children are hurting, bearing emotions they do not understand, feeling insecure, or maybe opposite, our children are joyous, content, and ready to fly but oblivious to what life will be after they are no longer home.

Those are the things I get up for in the middle of the night to fight for my children.

 

To fight for the generational bondage of depression for my son and for my child who is so eager to leave home at eighteen but yet have never experienced a night without me (or at least not too far away from me). That hurts me as a mom, because I have a deep yearning for my kids to be prepared and ready. To be confident, aware, and a good respected citizen.

Those pains are big for us. It turns into moments we gotta fight for their ears and eyes to open spiritually.

 

So, why do we let others critiquing or judging our parenting bother us?

 

Why does it get to us when others seem to judge us as parents by the little they see but yet they have never experienced those times the Lord has spoken to us specifically about our children?

How to sit still, or just listen and be calm with them , or when to let things go.

 

I have experienced all of those and more in a time when I thought I was supposed to answer in a different way because so many around us, would have done it differently.

 

Earlier this year, my oldest son got into trouble. It was the big kind of trouble! The night before everything unraveled,  I woke up in the midnight hour without any concerns. I stood by his door praying. I didn’t know what to pray but I knew God told me to pray. So I  asked God to give him wisdom. To rise him up as a victor through life, and to keep him protected from all evil…… then I prayed the words, “Whatever you need to reveal God to make this happen, reveal it”.

 

The very next day, I received a phone call from the school. It was about my son. I had to go pick him up. Police and school suspension was involved. I was devasted.

My parents, his father, my husband, and I where all together in our home later that day. Each one had a voice of what I should do. I heard each person out. Took a deep breathe, getting ready to respond to the group of people when the Lord spoke, “You asked me to reveal. It is now over. Just love him.”

Those words kept me in awe for a moment. I then looked up and said, “No, I can not do any of those things. I just need to love him”.

 

The decision was well respected. From it, one thing I learnedwas that I was not to discuss what happened with anyone else. Not because of embarrassment or shame but because I asked the Lord to do something and He did it. It was now over.

 

No one’s words matter, no ones opinion was needed, no one’s advice was needed to be taken. It was over and God’s wisdom already told me what to do, just love him.

 

We need to make Gods voice louder than man’s voice. Especially when parenting. Both parents in agreement of hearing Gods voice.

 

D’ondra’s words pierced right through me because of her passion to hear God’s way of teaching our children over man’s way. This is such a vital part of taking the role in Christian parenting.

 

Don’t let God reign in one part of you life but not in other areas, especially in your parenting.

 

The parenting you give effects the right now moments, the years from now, and the generations from now.

 

I say this from experience. I use to be that women that was so wrapped up in praying for just my marriage and ignoring everything else around me. To save my marriage, to heal my marriage, and to build my marriage but how many times did I pray for my children?

Too little, that’s how much.

 

From Repurpose and Design, I gained three key factors of what to do when others judge your parenting.

 

1. When in situations with your children, stop and listen to all whom is involved before reacting. Even if the people involved are judging. Let them speak. React calmly. Take it to your family in privacy and speak openly about the situation then chose to give it to God.
2. Speak to your children about God and the enemy. This will over time teach them discernment for when it is time for them to be on their own.
3. Be confident in your position as the parent and in your household. Do not let man change that.

 

If you’re like me and love a good read that gives raw emotions, transparency, and encouragement, here you go. Get ready!Iit will give you all the feels to be the warrior for your children that God called you to be.

P.S. Being a warrior for your children also means knowing when to step back and let your children handle things. It’s being a warrior because it is giving obedience to our Lord. It is allowing yourself to be self sacrificing in our calling. Some of greatest leaders knew when to set aside for the biggest changes to happen.

Related Posts:

12 Prayers for your child’s bedroom when they are in Spiritual Warfare.

How to Spiritual clean your home. 

When do we start teaching our children about Spiritual Warfare?

RepurposeandDesign.com

Be well equipped.

I’ve been feeling like I have to protect those close to me lately, particularly my kids. If you read my last post, you know how the enemy is attacking my family in a way that is making me want to shield my kids from the world. What it really has me doing though, is praying for my kids protection from whatever the enemy is trying to throw at them.

 

Being that my kids are pretty young, they don’t see it as the enemy attacking them, they think they had a bad day full of drama. I, knowing what it really is, have to break it down to them to help them realize how they are to handle or address the situation.

 

We’ve been having some pretty heavy conversations lately, don’t get me wrong, I love it, but boy, if the enemy don’t stop playing. I really do wish I could just keep my kids in hiding or fight their battles for them, but I know it wouldn’t help them at all. They need to be prepared for bigger and better things, and if momma is there to try and stop it all from happening, what are they really learning?

 

I had a conversation with someone close to me about how they were feeling some type of way about how my kids were acting. Me, knowing my kids, had to take a step back, listen, and figure out what they were really saying to me. I felt like as their parent, they were criticizing me, not so much my kids.

 

After I got off the phone, I felt like I did something wrong. Like I wasn’t raising them to their standards, and started to get a little upset with myself for allowing, yet another person to make me feel some type of way by something they said.

 

I got off the phone and called my daughter. I asked her her side of the story and explained to her what happened and what she should do to make sure she is being respectful at all times. She actually didn’t even know anything was wrong until I brought it to her attention, but because I know how the person who called me about the issue is, I wanted to make sure all bases were covered.

 

I had a conversation with the Lord about it to make sure I wasn’t tripping and in my own feelings, and He says to me:

Continue post here.