When conflict is in the church, we are sometimes part of it. A witness to it, a hearer of it, or have been unwillingly entangled into it. Either way, it affects us terribly as a congregant but mostly as a Christian.
We are identified as brothers and sisters.
We are told in Galatians 6:10 to do good to others but especially to those who are in the household of faith.
The bible, preacher teachings, sermons, doctrine readings, all instill in us to have reverence for those that we serve with.
As we obtain that information and build faith in it, we tend to develop a horrific heartbreak and concern for the body when we witness a conflict in the church. Unfortunately, some can develop a mistrust and reluctance to the family of faith.
But what causes us to have conflict in the church…
Well, many things. We can name numerous things that happens in the church that will cause conflict such as:
Gossip, slander, division, jealousy, envy, disagreements between leadership, religiosity (yes, influencing religiosity over relationships can be harmful), sin in marriages, evidence of addiction, the list can continue on and on.
But many of these can be reactive things to what people do when there is actually a deeper meaning.
As you will read on, you will see through scripture as a brother or sister in Christ, this is why we must set great examples to what the “Church” is and do something to help those that we love within the household of faith.
Over the years I have intentionally developed a relationship with Christ to mature as a Christian. Through it I have realized some sinful actions is a reaction to what is affecting us to be whole with God. Deep wounds and trauma are a leading cause to not becoming what God has designed us to be as a Christian. I write this part, to not excuse certain behavior but to remind you, people are humans with pasts and hurts. As a church there are times to be sensitive to this also. Just as Jesus was.
(Tip: It is always good to pray for generational curses and for full healing to happen)
I am assuming you are reading this post Conflict within the Church because you are hurting. It has somehow pierced you and you should not be seeing this in the body of Christ. Though not on great terms, I am glad you are here and you have a desire to be a helpmate to the body. So, let’s see what we can learn going forward.
As a brother or sister in Christ, what will we choose to do when conflict in the church arises?
The bible tells us this….
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17
This is a guideline from the Word, because let’s face it, there were conflicts then within the church and there is conflict now. Even Apostles Peter and James had conflicts about the “Church”.
The bible is a guidebook to so many matters in our life. But we must be led through the holy spirit to find understanding through scripture for each situation you are looking guidance for.
The Holy Spirit is our mediator. It translates meaning to us as wisdom and discernment and is always important to use the Holy Spirit as a mediator between scripture to mind.
Recently I began to read a book my husband recommended to me. He knows that I have been digging deep into how to build an intimate prayer life. His helpful advice to me was to learn about disciples who loved prayer and spoke about prayer. He offered to me a book titled:
The Fight of Faith. Studies in the Pastoral Letters of Paul: 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus.
The author: Ray C Stedman opens Chapter 6, ‘The First thing: Prayer’ with this:
A church elder once had a disagreement with his pastor. He went around to various people and complained about the pastor. Finally, word reached the pastor that this elder was spreading gossip about him.
So, the pastor went to the elder and said, “Would you please tell me my faults to my face? This way, I can profit by your candor, and you can help me correct my faults.”
The elder was caught off guard. He hadn’t expected his complaints to reach the pastor’s ears. “Well, yes,” he said. “Let’s talk.”
So, they went to the pastor’s office. The pastor said, “Before we begin, would you kneel with me and pray? I especially need you to pray for me that my eyes would be open to see my faults as you tell them to me. Please pray that God will enable me to correct those errors in my life.”
The two men prayed together. Then the pastor said, “Now, I’m ready to hear any complaint you have for me.”
The elder shook his head. “Pastor,” he said, “please forgive me. After praying with you, I can see that my complaints were not worth talking about. By gossiping to others, I’ve been serving satans cause, not the Lord’s. Thank you for praying with me. It was the prayer I needed all along.”
I share this expert of the book for two reasons:
- I found this story to be something I believe most of us have either partaken in or have at least seen in the church before. Even amongst our brothers and sisters in Christ, conflict arises, but through prayer and the Spirit; much is accomplished and this is a focus we ought to see.
- This story is also fitting for the point I am hoping to bring forth to you in this post. Which is that prayer not only brings intimacy with God but it also opens our eyes spiritually. It exposes and recovers us in areas that we probably wouldn’t have been able to see without building ourselves spiritually through prayer.
In this specific story, the pastor brought forth wisdom to approach a congregant in a peaceful manner. Through the trusting of God and the attitude of grace, the man was corrected in love and truth through the leading of the Holy Spirit in prayer.
Not by man but by the spirit. This part is vital to understand the totality of this story.
Through prayer and intercession of the Holy Spirit, truth is revealed to man.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:13 ESV
When we pray in the Spirit, truth is revealed to us due to the Holy Spirit being one with God. Which is then transpired to us through the spirit as we allow ourselves to be led in prayer.
Becoming more intimate in prayer means we are now opening ourselves and allowing the Spirit to dwell and lead us.
And this is where you will see the transparency in some conflicts within the church, through your spiritual eyes that are opening in intimate prayer time. Being able to spiritually see and hear may allow us to see what is actually happening in the body.
I am not talking about visions of who did what but more of whose hearts are truly hurting, topics you should be praying about, the spiritual warfare that is probably affecting the body, ect.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26 ESV
Eyes are open, hearing is heightened to a new level.
When encouraging others to pray in the Spirit, I sometimes want to post a disclosure to say, “Beware, you may see and hear things that you may not be ready for”. Because the truth is, being able to see more with the leading of the holy spirit, leads you into a place of more accountability.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:16-18 ESV
Every word you speak, every sentence you write, every conversation you partake in, now has a heightened level of responsibility for how you participate.
Related Posts:
How the Holy Spirit Empowers Us
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With that accountability as a brother or sister in Christ, what will you do with conflict in the church?
Hopefully your answer is prayer. Though you may want a right now answer, facing situations in a rush is not wise. It takes patience, and most of all preparation with God.
Ask yourself, have you been praying specifically for the situation, or has it gotten you frustrated, hurt, unforgiveness?
I have learned over years of witnessing some harsh church hurt that came and went, God was always working. His plans are not our plans.
Once things had blown over, I always saw how the conflict could not have resolved so purely if He did not do this or that. Praying scriptures about church conduct actually helps us see more of what God is doing in the midst. Plus, He gives us peace and trust about it.
Below are some scriptures to read about the “church”. Allow these words to help you gain knowledge and wisdom in this area. To learn how to conduct ourselves as a brother or sister in Christ.
We are not always the one to take the matter into our hands. It’s very important to listen to the holy spirit in this. But we can immediately set examples by our conduct towards the household of faith.
Setting a standard, the moment you become a congregant in the church of what church ought to be through God is actually setting the body up for success in the future.
It will lessen the chance of conflict, immaturity, division, and much more.
Examine yourself of how you are respecting God’s expectation of the church. Then carefully examine with God, how your church is exemplifying what God’s desire is for the church. If it looks like it has fallen short, become intimate with God. Ask him to whisper to you how you can help.
Being a helpmate to the church is one of the greatest servanthood we can do for the body of Christ.
Consider these steps when facing Conflicts in the Church:
Read scripture.
Pray intimately.
Meditate. Allow time to hear from God.
Seek godly counsel. Consult God, whom that should be with.
Practice maturity as a vessel of the church daily.
Scriptures to meditate on for Conflicts within the Church:
Proverbs 29:2
When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.
1 Corinthians 12:25-27
That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
James 1:19-21
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
1 John 4:20-21
If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Philippians 2:1-7
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, …
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
1 Corinthians 12:25-27
That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; …
Hebrews 12:14
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
This post is by no means to encourage ignoring any abuse within a church. If you are experiencing, witnessing, or hearing of any physical, sexual, or any other type of abuse, immediately contact your church leadership with authorities present. I take this matter seriously and would never exemplify such acts to be dismissed.
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